would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
