Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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