Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
