Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
