I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
