My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
