I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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