Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
