it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
