Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
