my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize