im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
