All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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