The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accomplished twins. life is a go
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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