i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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