Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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