Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it's like iHOP with fire
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
