dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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