I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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