You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
