you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
