My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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