ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
