they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize