yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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