Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
