At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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