How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
