you mean i was at the winter classic?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
