you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
