I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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