yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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