Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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