Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
