yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
