I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
