You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
