We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
