mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
