I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
