They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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