are you still at the devil's house?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
