i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
