you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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