Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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