He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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