Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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