if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
