I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
