I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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