I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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