Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
