We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
