Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
