a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Everclear isn't food dammit
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
