then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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