one two three fourrrrnication!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
