i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
