...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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