Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
