I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
