hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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