Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize