why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
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I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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