So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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