My first STD was from a foam party
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
